Into the years that followed, We became hardened and my when heart that is open now struggling to feel any such thing for just next page about any guy We dated. One at a time they might fall difficult I would feel nothing for me, but. There have been a guys that are few was able to stir one thing inside of me personally, and I also would inexplicably fall cast in stone. My belly will be in knots awaiting the next text, I would personally endlessly evaluate every thing he did to find out whether or otherwise not he liked me personally, i might constantly prepare and plot the things I will say and do in order to win him over. But absolutely nothing ever originated from those вЂњrelationshipsвЂќвЂ”save me to feel anything were the emotionally unavailable ones for me being left devastatedвЂ”because the only guys who could get.
My mind that is objective could see this, however, because my attraction to these dudes had been rooted during my subconscious. My final relationship had instilled a belief that I would never get the guy I wanted, that no man would love the real me вЂ¦ so I sought out guys who werenвЂ™t in a place to love anyone, really, and was proven right time and time again in me that I was unworthy of love.